Marriage Isn’t Meant to be Mediocre

{This post contains affiliate links which means I may get a credit if you choose to purchase the conference pass. All opinions are mine and you can read more about my disclosure policy here}

The changes that bring us great joy in marriage can be the same things that challenge our joy in marriage. Welcoming a new baby to your family, moving into your first home, or beginning a new career are worthy of celebration ~ but they are also some of the most stressful changes of our lives. As women we often make the situation worse by carrying around tremendous self-inflicted guilt because we have a vision that we are supposed to be so happy and grateful.

Marriage Isn't Meant to be Mediocre

Don’t even get me started on our “friends” who babble in our ears much like Job’s friends did saying things like:

  • Just enjoy them while they are little
  • At least you have a job
  • We all have to grow up sometime
  • How can you complain about something so great

When we fail to recognize that good things can be stressful, we fail to recognize our humanity. We begin to believe that we can do all things if we plan enough or believe enough or work enough.

God’s Word says He provides our needs as Believers through the power of His Holy Spirit.

Galatians 5:19 reminds us that the work of the flesh (our natural inclinations) are a mess! “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” {verses 22-23}

The core of this message is that when we rely on what God can do through us, we are provided everything we need for any situation. Job realizes this by the end of his story in the Bible. Chapter 42 opens with:

Then Job replied to the Lord:

 “I know that you can do all things;
    no purpose of yours can be thwarted.
 You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’
    Surely I spoke of things I did not understand,
    things too wonderful for me to know.

I believe that one of the biggest challenges we face as Christians is making the connection between taking what we read in God’s Word, and knowing what to actually do with it on a daily basis.

  • When we are running on a total of 8 hours of sleep in 3 days because of our new baby
  • When our spouse announces a new promotion, in another state
  • When the teenager is awarded a full scholarship to a college thousands of miles away

As if those positive changes weren’t enough to challenge the strength of our marriage, there are countless negative things happening as well. It can feel so much easier to do just enough to get by, just enough to keep any one situation from reaching the boiling point, just enough to convince ourselves we are doing just fine.

But marriage isn’t meant to be mediocre.

Song of Solomon 4:9
You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride;
you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes,
with one jewel of your necklace.

Isaiah 62:5
As a young man marries a young woman,
so will your Builder marry you;
as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride,
so will your God rejoice over you.

Marriage is meant to share the relationship God has with His children to a world that doesn’t know Him. Marriage is one of the most beautiful and most complicated aspects of living as a Christian. We are not supposed to have all the answers on our own. The Word of God is our primary source for guidance and one of the greatest aspects of that is all the examples it gives us of men and women mentoring and encouraging each other along the way. King David relied heavily on the prophet Samuel. Jesus was God in the flesh, yet relied upon the twelve disciples. Ruth trusted her mother in law Naomi to lead her as a young widow. Moses and Aaron led the people of Israel out of Egypt, with their sister Miriam.

Early in our marriage, we had great mentors in older couples at our church. Couples who had walked through child-raising, wars, and tight budgets. As the years went on, we sought out friendships with those just ahead and just behind us in stages of child raising. Those ahead gave us practical suggestions, while those behind reminded us to treasure each stage {challenges and joys} before they were gone. Those in the same stage gave us the opportunity to swap babysitting or creative date ideas.

Who is mentoring you in marriage? Who can you rely on to help with your children so you have time just for your spouse? Who helps you learn to be a better wife, husband, mother or father?

In May, there is an opportunity to learn from some of my favorite bloggers and their experiences in marriage and mothering. They have compiled the type of conference for wives any woman with an internet connection can attend. There are online videos and resources that will be available on demand, as well as private Facebook groups and a downloadable notebook. If you are looking for encouragement but need the flexibility you can’t get from a weekend conference, I hope you’ll check out this amazing resource. Early registration ends May 5th for just 29.97.

Then go and encourage someone’s marriage today. Babysit for friends so they can go on a date night, fold laundry with your best friend while your kids play together, or put all the electronics down for 30 minutes when you are home tonight with your spouse. Do this even once per week for a month and share with someone what a difference it made.

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